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Null's avatar

A tear ran down my face as I read the message from your dad. I’ve disconnect all communication from mine excluding a single email address. I desperately wish one day I’d open that email to a message like what your dad sent. Alas I’m only told how much of a disappointment I am, and even though I know what to expect, it hurts every time.

Great entry, and thank you for sharing.

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Adrian Hsieh's avatar

That touched me a lot. I think there's some resonace inside of me.

I am an Chinese born and raised boy with a dad that exactly like the one you have.

there're hundreds of times that he hit me and my mom when I was young. and I don't know there're some sort of childhood trauma or patriarchism or sth else that makes those dad that nasty. and I believe that could be passed to the offsprings they have. and I've always been trying my best to make some change. at least I don't want be that kind of dad in the furture.

my aunt once told me that she really sympathize me that I have a bad Family of Origin (原生家庭)through a phone call. of couse I know she's telling the truth, but I said nothing bad about my dad on that phone call, cuz I knew she hates my father, and if I wanna mend the rifts, I must be the one not to foment the bad feelings.

And when I grow older(I am 31 now), I gradually know how to deal with my father. There is no doubt that he is a child. he'll do what he wanna do when he face his family with no scruples and never care other's feeling. He just gets angry when he's unhappy(just like a child). but once if you see him as a child, you'll know how to put the baby down. slow down your voice and try to soothe him, you'll see the magic power of that measure.

Okay, it's 1:30 in Beijing now and it's time for me to go to sleep.

Hope you can have a better relationship with your dad in the foreseable future. And I really love your story.

谢谢你。

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