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Julien's avatar

Hey Valerie, thanks for this post.

My grand-dad passed last night at his nursing home. Seeing this in my inbox this afternoon was both weird and comforting, especially as I subscribed to your newsletter this morning.

I‘ll chalk it up to the weird things that happen in life.

Time is always so short. Take care.

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Sridhar Prasad's avatar

The end of life is painful to endure and to witness, especially when it is complicated by dementia. The physical deterioration, the difficulty making a connection with the loved ones, the loss of dignity as the person who suffers loses the ability to care for themselves and needs help with bathing and feeding and continence.

Osler said pneumonia was “the old man’s friend”. In the pre-antibiotic era, the mortality for pneumonia Im the elderly exceeded 70%.

It’s hard to communicate dignity to people going through that. So do what you can. Be present when you can. Participate in caregiving in whatever way you can. Engage in rituals, so that there is a sense that the actions of a lifetime are carrying on even as they themselves are passing.

And if you can, try to help the people who are still healthy build a “dignity document”. An opportunity for them to remember their lives on their own terms and to their advantage, so that they can feel certain That their legacy remains secure.

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