17 Comments

enjoyed reading your take on how to shoot your shot, Val 🏀 it reminded me of Kasra's essay on "How to transform your social life" – laughed when I saw he was feature in Step 1!

Expand full comment

Thank you so much Cissy! I def need to give Kasra’s piece a read.

Expand full comment

Thanks for sharing this insight, very thought-provoking 🤔

Expand full comment

Thank you so much for reading!

Expand full comment

+1 for How to Win Friends and Influence People

New edition has audiobook on Libby!

https://www.overdrive.com/media/2037669/how-to-win-friends-influence-people-in-the-digital-age

Expand full comment

thanks for this!

re casting a wider net, out of curiosity, how many DMs have you sent recently in total? wondering as someone trying to converge on the optimum from the opposite direction (hoarding a lengthy list of people to someday message, at some hypothetical perfect time when the list is long enough that no one person carries much psychological weight, but still short enough that I've got the wherewithal to say something thoughtful to each of them)

Expand full comment

WAY FEWER THAN 100 is the short answer. I am still MOSTLY messaging Twitter people who already follow me but feel "out of my league", maybe 2-3 a week? When I'm not super busy at work, I'll send more.

In my experience, sending faster is better. I have a weighty list in my head of people whose essays I loved and who I mean to message, and...... I tend to never press send. In my experience, the "just send a thoughtful thing I mean in the moment" is much easier for me.

Expand full comment

We only know each other because of the internet!! And I’m glad for it

Expand full comment

Woot woot! Thanks for your comment Rishi! Love the name of your substack newsletter btw -- makes me inspired to think about how I could step into my full power

Expand full comment

Yesss let the power flow!

Expand full comment

Brilliant Valerie!! So much gold here

Expand full comment

Ty Kristin!! And ty for your feedback :)

Expand full comment

I admire your efforts to meet and connect with new people sm! Cant say the same about my hermit-ness but can always learn a thing or two from you Val

Expand full comment

Thank you Minh! I think the hermit-life has SO much upside too -- so much room for incisive observations to sprout. But if you're ever down to hang in Austin, I'm happy to drive to whenever you wanna go :)

Expand full comment

A DM queen 👑 seriously you inspire me because you are so sweet and thoughtful while also willi my to put yourself out there and get to know people in the inter webs! I’m rereading Carnegie’s book right now so the title also made me smile and immediately open 🫶

Expand full comment

Ty Michelle, this message makes me smile! How are you finding the book, and what made you start rereading it?

Expand full comment

I appreciate these reminders! Great post.

Expand full comment