I never felt ready to have my baby, neither did my wife. I've spoken to a lot of other parents (and our parents) and none of them did either. I enjoyed working really, really hard in my 20s. And I do still work hard, and so does my wife. But after a decade of it, you start to get the idea of what work is all about. And it can be great. But the life fulfillment from also building a family is wonderful as well. I think it would be difficult if a parent felt they had to give up their entire career to stay at home, but for the most part that's just not necessary if you have the resources.
I also feel like you'd see a lot more single people without families in more successful levels of the corporate hierarchy if it were that advantageous. But I think maybe not having a family might boost your productivity by 10-50% at max? And maybe that sounds like a lot, but the difference between someone who is going to be an executive, or a senior leader, and anyone else, is usually an order of magnitude. The really good people aren't just getting there because they're 30% better than average. The far right tail of human talent goes deep.
Oh my goodness, this speaks right to my heart. I also grapple with my two disparate identities: work me and creative me. Feels like if I promote one too much, the other has to die down... and that's borderline impossible to reconcile sometimes.
Love these sentences specifically:
"She was so tightly wound up that appreciating me — my desire to work less, to find meaning and identity outside of being good at my job, my desire to be more chill — would threaten her existence. She couldn’t afford to be wrong."
To be honest, "corporate me" sounds very familiar. Right now, it sounds very boring too. Though I might be a case of suffering under too much pressure from intense expectations.
Do you really see yourself grinding for years on end? Better even, do you see yourself, at the end days, looking back & saying "yep, all worth it"?
I think we can fulfill *enough* of our potential across multiple walks of life. It doesn't have to be the maximum. That, as you said yourself, is always two steps from nihilism.
I don't know of olympic medals for corporate zealots. Do you?
Melanie and Mark are both fake names! What expectations do you have for yourself, if you don’t mind my asking?
I think a certain amount of grinding is worth it to me. Right now, my grinding is helping me push past my limits and better navigate challenges. And also, I don’t think it would be fulfilling to grind forever.
To be exceptional in my craft, caring in my love, deep in my thought, at peace in my body, beneficial to my environment, humourous when appropriate, brave when needed, and above all - meaningful.
I never felt ready to have my baby, neither did my wife. I've spoken to a lot of other parents (and our parents) and none of them did either. I enjoyed working really, really hard in my 20s. And I do still work hard, and so does my wife. But after a decade of it, you start to get the idea of what work is all about. And it can be great. But the life fulfillment from also building a family is wonderful as well. I think it would be difficult if a parent felt they had to give up their entire career to stay at home, but for the most part that's just not necessary if you have the resources.
I also feel like you'd see a lot more single people without families in more successful levels of the corporate hierarchy if it were that advantageous. But I think maybe not having a family might boost your productivity by 10-50% at max? And maybe that sounds like a lot, but the difference between someone who is going to be an executive, or a senior leader, and anyone else, is usually an order of magnitude. The really good people aren't just getting there because they're 30% better than average. The far right tail of human talent goes deep.
good reflections - I enjoyed reading this!
Oh my goodness, this speaks right to my heart. I also grapple with my two disparate identities: work me and creative me. Feels like if I promote one too much, the other has to die down... and that's borderline impossible to reconcile sometimes.
Love these sentences specifically:
"She was so tightly wound up that appreciating me — my desire to work less, to find meaning and identity outside of being good at my job, my desire to be more chill — would threaten her existence. She couldn’t afford to be wrong."
Good post. I hope Mark is a fake name.
To be honest, "corporate me" sounds very familiar. Right now, it sounds very boring too. Though I might be a case of suffering under too much pressure from intense expectations.
Do you really see yourself grinding for years on end? Better even, do you see yourself, at the end days, looking back & saying "yep, all worth it"?
I think we can fulfill *enough* of our potential across multiple walks of life. It doesn't have to be the maximum. That, as you said yourself, is always two steps from nihilism.
I don't know of olympic medals for corporate zealots. Do you?
Melanie and Mark are both fake names! What expectations do you have for yourself, if you don’t mind my asking?
I think a certain amount of grinding is worth it to me. Right now, my grinding is helping me push past my limits and better navigate challenges. And also, I don’t think it would be fulfilling to grind forever.
To be exceptional in my craft, caring in my love, deep in my thought, at peace in my body, beneficial to my environment, humourous when appropriate, brave when needed, and above all - meaningful.
Just like the rest of us, I think.